Coping with pet loss: Navigating the grief of losing a beloved companion

Losing a pet is a form of heartbreak in its purest state. If you’ve been through it, you know. It’s a unique kind of loss that can leave you feeling isolated and alone. It’s saying goodbye to a companion, a loved one and a piece of your daily rhythm. When they’re gone, life feels off.

Earlier this fall, my wife and I had to say goodbye to our dog, Indy. He wasn’t just our dog, he was our best friend, our shadow and part of our family. That day was one of the hardest we’ve ever faced. And while we knew it was coming, nothing really prepares you for the moment you have to let go.

Grief is strange. It doesn’t follow rules. Sure, there was sadness and pain — that’s expected. But there was also this weird awkwardness. Like when the vet staff politely asked how our day was going as I carried Indy in for his final appointment. Or the QR code on the door of his room asking us to leave a five-star review. It was so surreal, it almost felt funny. Painfully funny. And let me tell you, thanking the staff through tears on your way out is a uniquely midwestern experience.

But then you get home. The house feels different. The walls have lost their color. The silence hits. The absence is loud. The grief of pet loss can feel like losing a part of yourself. It’s important to give yourself permission to feel it fully during this period. 

When it comes to dealing with that grief, there’s no one-size-fits-all coping mechanism. Here are some tips and resources to help you through this difficult time.

• Plan a memorial: Some find comfort and solace in celebrating the life of their pet. Write your pet a letter, create a photo album or plant a tree in their memory. These steps can provide a sense of closure and celebrate the joy they brought into your life.
• Talk about it: Many people find comfort in talking with someone who understands pet loss. Organizations like Best Friends offer pet loss hotlines where trained counselors can listen and provide support.
• Give yourself grace: Grief is not linear, and there’s no “right” way to feel. Treat yourself with the same kindness and patience you would offer a friend going through loss.
• Read a book on the grief of a pet: Books can also be a source of comfort. Titles like The Loss of a Pet by Wallace Sife, Goodbye, Friend by Gary Kowalski and When Your Pet Dies by Alan Wolfelt offer guidance on processing grief and honoring the bond you shared.
• Consider volunteering: Many other pets are in need of love, attention and care. You can make a meaningful impact in your pet’s honor by offering companionship at organizations like the KC Pet Project or Wayside Waifs.

Grief is like an ocean, with waves that ebb and flow differently for everyone. It can change from one moment to the next, bringing sadness, reflection and even moments of joy as we remember the love we have for the departed. As time and tides rise and fall, this natural rhythm of emotion is part of healing.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. If your grief feels overwhelming, reach out for support — find a mental health specialist to help you navigate this journey. With time, the waves of grief become a little easier to navigate. 
 

  More articles

Trevin Lambert

Trevin is the Content Development Coordinator at North Kansas City Hospital. In his position at NKCH, he creates a variety of written materials utilized throughout the hospital and online for both internal and external audiences. He and his wife, Maddie, recently moved to Kansas City with their dog, Indiana Jones, and their cat, Keanu Reeves.